so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
