If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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