When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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