It's like God shit irony all over that family
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
