She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
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