my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
