I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
