I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
