Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Damn victory sex feels great
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
