Say something about gay babies.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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