Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
