This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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