she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
