Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
even my farts smell like vagina
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
