I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize