Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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