She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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