some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
