I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
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