Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
It's just like the Real World with babies
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It's official drugs can't kill me
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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