yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
