so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
