Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
