He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
