Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
