the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
