im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
