The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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