5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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