She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
FUCK WHALES
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
