Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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