Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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