You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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