he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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