i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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