And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
This house was built for laser tag.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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