Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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