It's Friday. Sex?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
