Acid is not a monday night drug
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
