I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
