Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
