You can't motorboat a personality
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
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