We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
