walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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