So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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