UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
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