I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Randomize
