Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just want nice things and good sex
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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