the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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