yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
wow bdsm is so cute
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
