You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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