i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Randomize
