so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
We're too hungover to prance.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
