I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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