I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
