Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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