Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
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