some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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