end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Just high enough for therapy.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Randomize
