I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
