dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
