So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
