What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize