I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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