Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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